Diary of a CEO

A all day trip outside didn't wash away my worry; asked my wife why I am not feeling securied? she said because I am afraid, afraid of not performing well. not deliver the result I estimate, afraid of being fail... I had to admit that she is right, then I asked How should I overcome my fear? she said to me : the worst is to sell our house and replace with a samll apartment, if I didn't tried my own business, when the validation day of my contract appraoched, I will feeling the great depression again, and this time, very possible, will be my last chance to work in this transnational corporation; why? because I am getting old, because there always new talent coming out, because I am not a Japanese. if the future ahead didn't look bright, if what I am doing now doesn't promise a positive direction, I need to put more heart on my own business, no matter how hard it will be... this is what my wife told me last night.... I am glad to have her with me, I can share, talk and think, she is not pushing, but keep telling me not to postpone my problems to the near future, face it now, time won't be by my side anymore.

Yes, I am afraid, afraid of what I can think of will not turn to positive future, people invest me based on the judgement of my previous experience or credit, but why I decided to depart from the entertainment business, either I don't like it or I don't have the confidence to bring it to next level of success. if entering the old model of business thinking won't bridge to the better rate of success, why jumping to the deep water where you see the futur of your own?

Telling her the media company recruiting company reconnected again, she asked again : in your mind, you thinking of working somewhere for someone again? don't escape from working for your own and be independent somehow", yes, I am totally wrong again, but what skilled I had, what techonology I can derive? this is so blur and fuzzy; if not pursuing another company, then, what left in my hand to be fulfilled?

Commidian artist Mr. Ni committed suidcide the other day, it make the big news exploure on the TV, one news channel cited some Chinese old saysing to educate people: it catogrogied 3 majoy misfits in life:

1. Success Young.
2.Fail in mid-age.
3.Having affairs when getter old.

the warning bell rings so hard, I am too old to passing number 1 and maybe encounter with number 2, unless you find a new defination of " Success " and example of number 3 all over the place, the livily warning shall never be ignored.

Deliver my after-manger-meeing comments in English, this is what I encourge our managers to do; an without prior arranged lunch invitation by S. -- we go over a little bit of Ezfly; Professor Chung called for the final confirmation of the speech in Chi Nan International Universtity, I am thinking hard for the subject : it should be something like " Where do I go from Here "

posted by Roger @ 5/03/2005 05:41:00 下午