2003/07/06

message left from my father this morning create another typhoon in my family again, approaching 80 years old, I should not complain about him, especially in the traditional Chinese family which value the family ethic a unbreakable ball and chain, but if I wish to tell you a long story about my father, then this novel will turn your viewpoint 180% degree around; I am not prepare to illustrate such a story, I have no time to do it and I am not in the mood to describe these mix feelings.

He always left written message to me or my wife , a note maybe describe very trivial feeling about his opinion about how we deal with thing against his idea, normally in field of family issue or my wife's educational method when teach my son and daughter how to behavior properly; what bother me is, he seldom at home, may one evening or 2 evening at home per week, spend less than 4 hours in total with us, and hardly conduct any conversation with me, he is a stranger to us, how a stranger judge our daily life with strong and bias statement, this is the main reason why me and my wife upset about.

Second, he always buy unhealthy food ( garbage food mainly ) back to please his grandsons for not being at home and play with them, to this, this is a response to his guilty of not performing a grandfather’s role, and to compensate with toy and candy, how can I accept it ?

Third, he shall take care of his wife -- my mother, the same responsibility as I am taking care of my family, we live under one roof, I earned and raise the whole family, but he shall be home to accompany and pay his duty as a husband to his wife, but he fail to do so, the burden fall into the shoulder of my wife, this unfairness generate a distance between us.

Fourth, friends are put before family, he treated friend much important then treat his own family, how can we accept it; knows nothing but left message and accuse me and my wife, I won't take it for grated. I am not saying I will release my duty as a son, but won't respect him as a father, he have been lying to us so many times, a dishonest man deserved no respect.

I need to write it down because I don't want my wife and family to carry additional burden . yes, it's burden, not responsibility, blood is thinker than water, my wife is a outsider, but shall be respected as a family man, not a long term contractor to serve the family until the end of the life.

what I want to say ? no, I just want my wife to be good to herself, I am happy to release from the duty of must be humble as someone's son, no, I won't take it, he didn't deserve my respect anymore.

posted by Roger @ 7/06/2003 11:39:00 下午