Am I too rude or too rush? this morning, when received the message regard to the potential break-up of an important appointment, I rush to block the entrance in TICC, try to secure the last chance to bring back the appointment; he is too big to make any appointment in person or in advance, because you will never got the answer from him, the top and dominate telecom player in town and a government official in his prior tenure; the appointment was make 2 months ago, when our big shot fail to perform it, we make it up and set the date last week, but it turn out to be " put someone in the designed seats ", this design doesn't work, because foreign invitation or foreign pressure won't be a big deal to him, a formal senior government office thinks differently, dignity is surpass everything; when rush to make an alternative, it almost OK, but when sending the second message, complain about the service they provided, I may piss him off; if I blow up this appointment, then this is fine with me. You can only grab one chance to tell the truth, without any staff's ground guard, you can free express your finding and opinion, even it cause him mad, but, to tell the truth is what I need to do, no matter how the consequence is, if this is the reason for breaking up the relationship we slightly built in the past, then, forget, I shall not regret to this.
sponsor for YPO year end party is another unhappy experience, I don't like to leverage my relationship with artist and ruin the good will I've established for a while, I am rethinking of why join YPO, is it the goal for my life, am I serious about this fame ? this is a " need " or " desire ", I am kind of lost , but the picture getting more and more clear, I may not suit for this organization, may not fit the requirement, may need to revitalize myself and to digest the real goal in my life, so, I am thinking of terminate the " participating process ' I hate to be another entertainment provider, this is not me any more, reflect to what I am now, I want to see more clear, more pure and more confident. this is me. the real me.
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