Why it happens, Again
Keep calling wife from THR Hsing Chu station until 7 pm, it last for 3 hours with more than 15 calls, including voice mail and short message, I am a little bit worry about her, if we lost contact for more than a hour, I will start to worry about her, this is nothing to be with a too much depending on somebody, but a habit of caring - this is my terminology of love someone who close to you.She return my called by 7 pm, I asked what happened? in the beginning , she reluctant to response why, then she disclose her feeling about me this morning - she saw the exact copy of my mother on me, the one who she suffer for more than 20 years - and kind of hate her in a way, she found I had the DNA in my mother, selfish, blaming others, question without solution, the shadow in me kept her away from my calling, I am really disappointed when hear her expression over the phone, really, this morning, because of missing the school bus, this is not my faught, how can I stop a moving bus? will it create a even higher risk then sending Sound to school by ourself? I don't know, but , we get lost in the highway - to be more specific, we are not lost, but miss one important interchange to connect to the highway 3, for Forest school, so, I lead the road without a map or GPS in hand, of cousre, we miss the correct exit again, the road lead us to where we begin, and it was 9:10 am in the morning, she is kind enough to let me get off the car to catch my MRT for early meeting by 10 am, I didn't know how I generate the strong feeling to her and make her hate me this way, I really don't know why?
every single trivial accidenct will get snow ball rolling, rolling to a huge imapct and ended in a big querrel, I am sick about this vicious circle also, but how to stop this nonsense? I don't know, why it last for more than 2 decades and the shadow of my mother must be heritaged by me? why? I don't really know the reason why? she is too sensitive, mention about who else in the world be rest our shoulder? no one, only she and me, why to create this trouble in between? Fruit is no way to be independent, too frigile and too vulnurable, no gut to taking any responsibility, Sound can't control his temper, when get mad, he can be a devil of his own, any slight mistake can trun out to be a disaster, my parent - the least to conunt in, who else in the world can we rely? if no one there, why to take this trivial issue into a big hurricane? I don't know why, really.
Writing is the way I release my gesture, yet, this is what I am doing now. after reading Mr, Hochen's letter to employee, I found him in a big trouble now, expecting the change, and worried about the haste in between, telling his employee nothing but the truth, however, a CEO in the number one company can only telling the fact, not the truth from his heart, especially when it turn to writtend document, the hard evidence is hard to please everyone in the bureacrecy orginaiton. Unite in CHT is monuveing now, they conduct a bias web voting, vote for Hochen to step down. he is in deep trouble right now, the most important thing is to assemble a team to put out the fire, setting the fire wall between Union / Media and Employee.
Grace told me the story about Shu Chu - who passed away 10 plus years ago due to liver cancer, a rock singer who die on stage on his last phase of music journey ( a metaphor ), I watched 88's retirement Jazz party DVD yesterday at home, the Summer Jazz concert to tribute on Itoh's retirment is the ultimate honor for a music man - not an artist , song writer, but a senor producer who incubate and broke so many artsit and behind them all the time. this is the ture honor, to tribute to a person when he or she can listen to. In Taiwan, this is a bit too far to be realize, artist getting his / her best show on stage happen most of time when he or she can't witness it. Peter's memorial concert will take place by July, I had the same feeling.
I want to advise Grace to call it an end, to run a talent management company in Taipei with limited resource, and willing to borrow money from Mr. Han.. I don't know how I can perform in this complicate situration, yes, really, 11 street is a hot potatoo, how can I have my both hand tight and still trying to saving someone drawing?
Chung Chang meet me at Starbuck, this is a follow up meeting after Grace, he brought me a not so exciting news-- NTSO is not available during the Sep. 21-24 season, they have scheduled performance. well, my program now need to revise, turn to a more rock / pop performance , all I think is aboriginal can't 100 % representing Taiwan, some of the flover must addressed from non-aboriginal elements. now I hit a difficulity to thinks, Puppy Show ? Taiwanese Opera ? what eles, I am losing somewhere again.
Nonstop phisical examination done in Ya Tung hospital, thanks for Chi Hung's unconditional support and help, Fruit can take this previlliage in examining everything in one day, thanks God, there's no physical syndorm , so, it might be her own problem.
Attending Sound's school sport day, he is happy - for a while and keep a long temper throughout the weekend.... don't know why.
Not in the mood to prepare China Life Insurance CSR alternative project, spending decent time with no contract development, this is not what I wish to receive.
Now I must deal the problem with Wife. yes, only you and me.
posted by Roger @ 4/16/2007 07:17:00 下午
