Having another EMBA classmate routine dinner last night, the Gang of 4 were simply eating and talking, I found I am losing interest in getting together with some of them, J. is not a qualified Friend, whenever he wish to place order to our product, I always provide him the best price and the best service, but this is not enough for him; what he shows from the body language, he is not satisfied with the price he get; and it seems to me, he is the buyer who cotribute to our business; I had to tell him how complicate my assistant handling his product, and I didn't earn even one cent from the product he buy, to qualifed for an employee's price, My account was litimited to 2 items per product, to provide my friend with employee's price, I need to borrow the account from our colleages; to easy to get, they will never understand how people service to them; this is the main reason why I would like to keep distance from him, he is not qualified to share too much time with.Doing an emergency lunch with one Associated Manager in Sales team, J. he is a very mature person yet with the driver of sales -- get the order and exercise whatever mean he can think of; COO inform me that since the organization change, he is in low mood and the passion of working were no longer there; so, beat it, I invited him for lunch along, and I told his Diretor this is what I plan to do; we went for a Shabu-Shabu restaruat near by the office, this is the place introduced by our Ping Pong partner, I miss the beef they prepare but can't locate the place after meal, I lucky found it last week, so close to our office, we order 5 portion of beef and mutton -- this it too much and he shared with me his idea of developing the model for sustainable growth in the company, very mature and convincing approach, he is not in low, but tried to convey his message to me --- I believe he did it with other director before; we had a 2 hours lunch and the purpose is served, he will not leave the company, as least for the coming year, but I have to listen and think about his idea of doing streaming business within our contrained resource.New initatived in Community business recruit some famous people in the community / literary areana, Join joined us, she is a very famouse music critique and movie critique, publishing a few books and an opinion leader in the net community and music circle, I approched her tesk and shaking hand with her, she is nerver so reach our with her left hand, I asked her does it normal for her to shaking hands with others using left hand? she answered not, but only this time as it will be faster, I know she is nervous, a liberiray who tried to accommodate in corporation, adopabilty will be the key area to watch, no matter how talent they are, to work with other in the close environment wasn't easy, I am curious to know the relationship developed in our office, she mentioned another candidate who just send in his resume, son of famous photoghapher - Chang Cho Tang - another great rock fan in the 60's and his son - Mr. chang is a music critique in mordern music scene also, I am wondering if our mangers will recurit this young man, if it happend, I am very interested to know more about them, the other side of these young souls.I don't feel comfortable with the new drivers' driving habbit, fast is not the issue, but to press the brake with not trasaction moment wan't a good habit, and when stop by the traffic, his instinct reaction is to change the lane without stop for a while or keep the vicheal in the same lane, but to swift it left or right event without pressing the brake, I am study why he drive this way, with a good attitude, humble and honest is one thing, but to perform the ultimate safty driving ( in both physical and sychological way ) is the only mission to deliver as an executive driver, I don't know if I should tell him about it, my wife asked me to wait until he inviting my opinion, well, I will wait for a while, but I already put it in the May task folder.
This is what I wish to record when doing the store check in Kao Shung last week; when drove through the Industrial Park between Kao Shung and Tainai, I saw facotory and tall smoke tower, I recalled all these manufacturing scenes to a " Brick / Toy / Lego / Model " concept, they didn't cause my attendtion neither attract me since I was a kid, I am not a boy interested in macahnical / machianary / technical field; I don't like machines and never interested to see any big manufactuing equipment; my memories of factory keep in a toy concept.
I am getting back. back to normal and back to who I am. back to the person I know; why ? so fast ? so swift? because of the book and the inspiration from it; I wasn't so sure If I may keep it up, as my appearance didn't fit my personality ( even one of our director asked me to " taking care of myself " ), I decided to take half day off, I had a plan to going somewhere after Forest School's Parent Day activity.
As I planned to be somewhere in the afternoon, so I grab 2 books from my living room and consider reading it after the parent day session. leave the office earlier by noon, I went to the Sub. fastfood restaurat for lunch, when eating the sandwitch, I begin to read the book, the autobiografy of Elisabethe Kubler-Ross titled " A memoir of LIving and Dying ", her story was so compelling, the intro said one thing shocked me 「Life is like go to school, teacher give you a lot of assignment, the more you learn, the more difficulity your assignment will be」; so, I am not as misearable as people who suffer from pain, losing family and dying, I have a lot to learn still; then I follow the story of her life, when it come to the line " What keep a human spirit hight is nothing but " Love " and " Hope ", then I realized wha't lack from my recent feeling, I am lacking love, love is equivellent to passion, I shall love my work, my family, my colleage; I am lacking hope as well, I feel hopeless, for my exising business, for new opportunity and for the private establishment; if there's no hope, there won't be hype; I need to restart my passion -- love of what I am doing, don't forget the meaning of " Love what you do instead of Doing what you do - at the end, you don't have much to choose "; the fire and passion refilled, I am 50% back to normal after reading a few charper of EKS's story.
get on my wife's Verita -- a mini Nissan vicheal, I told her I am half way back to normal. she is happy too, since she don't know what function she can play to cheer me up, she worried about me and worried that my bad situation won't help with communcate with the President of Forest School, I am OK, arrvied 30 minutes earlier than schedule, I change the card CD and play one metal album - from Rob Rock, then I found this person : Rick Renstrom, he is handicaped I think accoriding to the photos on the album, and he plays rock guitar? a person paralized both hand play rock guitar, if this is the case, I don't have any reason to be sorrowed. l listen to the 12 minutes epic and turn to the school.
Everything's fine, Sound had a signifigant improvement , his teacher in living and in study share with us what they observed and proud of this giant step of development, we were happy, prinspal Chu wan's prepared, she used a metaphor wrong and she is not concentrated on our conversation, we were find, the last 10 minutes was the cultivate preaching by her, I nod my head to show her we are following.
We decided no to go to the beach, instead, we approch mountain in Ping Lin, the home town of Taiwaness tea, driving along the mountain road, R. called and we chat over the phone , Y. call and inform me the possible change to bring the missiory tour alive, how intersing , when talking , our park park in front of bigh religious sign which stated : Jesus Love You ; I hope what I am bridgeing won't be in vain.
strolling around, we didn't get off, by 6:00 pm we stop at the Sing Wu road where cluster with mutton shops, take mutton for dinner and then we decided to go for 2 second round movies, I really don't want to go home early; " Meet the Parent " and " Blade 3 " were what we saw last night, I know I am getting back 80% already.
Keep it up, I must keep it up, my wife told me that she see the same " Me " 4 years ago when I was wondering about my future, that's the breaking point when I am going to depart from the Music Industry; the low presure can't stay for too long, it not only hurt me, but to influence on the greater realm of my life, my business and very possible, my health; I am a man of optimastic, I shall keep it up, from today, from now and there's no excuse to escape from what I should do, one by one, little by little, I am able to clear the road and to clean up all the obstacles.Woke up in the morning, the theme song of " Jump, Boy " came to my mind, this is the wake up bell which lead me to a clear mind, I recalled those little boys, how they train themself in a difficult situation and I recalled the uncle of coach, his advise to coach 「Don't give up, but once the result arrived, you must accept it」, surrendor before the battle is a cowed, fight the good fight all the time; the vocie of " Time for me to fly " sang again. spread my wings, I shall have stronge confidence to do whatever I want, bring back the passion in everything; reward is work, it won't come after work.Keep it up, I will Keep it up.
I am not only have the Monday blue, but a depress feeling for quite a long time, my wife told me this depression hit me since 2 weeks ago, when I told her the CTS opportunity is like a castle in the air, then the J.'s creditor coincident occured, these unhappy situation build the chain of reaction which stuck me in a deep blue for 2 weeks.
I don't know how to crawl back to the ground and see the light again, my mood impact on people surrounded by me already, no wonder Chai asked me if I am alright? after the managers' meeting in the early morning.
Losing focus and losing passion is a terrible disaster to me, the moral level is so low that I hardly encourger people who worked with me. my wife noticed my woresten situation and urge me to bring back the original me, this is hard and I havn't figure out how to overcome this long and wide sorrow.
Need someone to talk to ? I told me wife I should call Mr. Chu and provide my symphthy for his losing daugher, but , as I am not in a good shape, can I perform properly and to comfort someone who's in deep sorrow ? my wife told me why not ? maybe this is a mutual treatment and a sharing of depression, this may be a good gruoup therophy, but this time, just two of us.
push myself to conduct an ISP revitalization urgent meeting, as the net increase is declined and we may face an consective 2 month negtive growth in the ISP market, I really worried about the market and our company status, come up with the agenda and go over it with directors, I hope they fully understand the situation and provide me the counter plan to overcome this risk ahead of us.
The musical ( broadway ) project had a primiary discussion. with Lu Fan and Chris at the Holiday Inn, Lu told me the business plan can be ready by Mid-May, the rough budget is around 20 millions NT. for the Folk Song Era, this is the project I am really looking for, to build a platform and seed the root for upcoming talent and trend. the other idea is to come up with a " Croaching Tiger, Hidden Dragon " alike Braodway as the second project, The love, hate, romance can easily blend to a musical and visual / action picture.
Lu send me a few gift at the lunch, 3 ink reprint of calligragy and Lu's grandfathers' calligraphy albums, and one little booklet - the re-publishing of one Ming Dynasty's scholar's essays; those books were very old, they were as old as I am now, printed in 1960, the color is faded and peper turn yellow; I am not sure why Lu sent it to me? I brought it to the mathmatic instituion in the afternoon where Sound is taking his class, then I opend the old booklet by the Ming scholar, the title of the book is called " Murmured while you are ill ", a very profound / insight book talking about life and how to be integrity and be humble, be as stable as you are even you are suffer from illness, an attitude to teach you how to stay in calm in the bad situation. ill is the metaphor for not in good shape. I am really interesting in reading it; as the body of the article was written in old style Mandairn -- you have to be very good at old school to understand them all, I will try my best.
Communicate with my wife that we've been complain about life and family for too long, the negative ambience will impact us more, more than what's we expressed, we should stop complaining and positively lean forward, complained will never give us strength to overcome hurdles.
Fruit hesterically shout last night, we didn't hold her back , she is too easy to forgive herself, she need a little bit more time to grow and mature.
