Couldn't sleep well last night, my brain can't stop working, I had too many illustration and it grow like a tree, thinking too much about the uncertain future is a problem to me, my wife knew that well and told me not to carry those questions to my dream, I told her something she's been troubled by the kid and the troblesome keep her awake all night, this is the same experiecne we've encouter, the only difference is the subject.
woke up at usual for my Satuday ping pong gathering, 2 of the members absent this morning, three of us exercise for 2 and half hours; I win all the games, you know what, I keep the spirit of gambling with my future and talking to myself it win such a game, then my dream of the future will come ture, this self-esteen keep me win all the games, and I can tell how serious I am to the future ahead.
It's been a while away from the artistic films, the escape to a non-existing world break for a while; asked my wife to go for the art film, this time, I am not aiming to escape from anywhere, but to diverse my focus a little bit, I can't be too concentrate on the appointment on Monday;, I pick the film " Wilbure -- the man who tried to kill himself " -- we are very in fond of the movie, simple story with a very touching emotions, the man who tried to kill himself end up survive, his brother, who save him from all the attempting suicide kill himself at the end of the story; but this is for love, not hate; the character appeared on this movie were brilliant; two brothers running a second hand book shop left from their father; a single mother with a very mature daughter, a doctor and a nurse; the impact is quite stong, the coincident is the cancer which took the elder brothers' life is the same as the songwriter Mr. Lieng Hung-chi who pass away this morning; we saw the news before the movie.
eyes don't feel comfortable, probably it cause by the opticl glass, probabely by the soured and tired eye mucles; I don't really.
Chairman Chen and I had a brief conversation over the phone last this evening, he point out that his major task now is to seek and identified the qualified candidate to run PTV and have all the candidates ready for directors' final approval, according to him, this is a consensus decison, the candidate who win the majority of votes will be the General Manager of PTV and carry the mission of the soon to be re-sturctured Public Media Group in Taiwan, the mission of PTV is to lay the infulence on the media ecosystem and to bring the qualtiy content to mass audience in Taiwan, he asked if I can be one of the candidate , but no guarenty of the final elections; my answer to him is positive and I told him no matter who win the final round, I hope that due to my enroll in the candidency, the bar can be raised and they may find a high quality GM to lead the significant media enviroement change in Taiwan; we set a face to fact appointment next Monday in my office; the impression we leave are mutually positive I guess.
Told my wife this rapid development, as Chen mentioned to keep it strickly confidencial, I only disclose it with my wife and I told her, I will not lower my attitude to him or the directors since they need me much more than I need them; I have to sacrifice decent amont of time, energe, privacy and financial lose if I really take this offer; if I am not favor the integrity Chairman Chen shows and ready to devoted myself to a non-profit organization, PTV will never got a chance to convince me.
No matter how noble this jobe will be, I shall be as simple, normal, pure as before and act just the same person I am, no one know this is good or bad, and no one will guarenty a 100% successful for a media ecosysem turn around.
Lunch with Y. to discuss my insurance coverage. I want to know 3 major issue : 1. How much I shall prepare for my insurace fees next year, 2. If I lost my job, what can be cut and my basic insurace will be covered also 3. if my minumum living expense is 80,000 per month, can I leverage the loan from the insurance company , and the credit I obtain can not only cover the insurance but support my minimum living requirement? if I am free from any job for 15 months, I need to know how to keep a living without begging. this is a worst case scenario; I need to cover it and secure the family first before keep my dignity.
Feel tired, but I know I will not go to bad soon as my brain is working now, this is a habit, whenever there's a change of job switch, I will always dream of the picture that I am on board, then make a list of to do's / strategy / stage / plan and write it down; this habit follows me every where I go. if I didn't write it down, I will neve sleep well, I will do it tomorrow.
Dinner Party last night was my last due for qualifing the new member of YPO, this is not an obligation, but a tradidtion to associate with old members and to get to know each other better by a casual event; Jamie and I co-host the dinner at Regent last night, turn out was a little bit disappointed, registrated up to 45, turn out is 25, luckily enought, our foster forum team members break their forum discussion and show up at the dinner, it gave us a physical support at the venue; Me and Jamie were officially invited to join the Forum on Nov. 18, this is the first session we have to be naked and sneaking others' private part as well; I don't mind sharing, according to Johari's Window, you don't explore, no one will accept you from the bottom of their heart. when popple reaching out their arms, you should embrance them with a warm hug.
VIP service team at Regent done a great job, the presentation and buffee arrangement were brilliant, this is our second time occupied the same venue to host dinner, elegent with privacy; A-Tet offer the Nakasi entertain most of the old members, Torot cake as a souvier is a popular token, at least , we complete the mission without fail and properly follow the rules and tradition decended by YPO Taiwan charpter.
Yesterday afternoon, new Chairman of PTV called the office and wish to visit me sometimes next week, he would like to have a telephone converstaion with me before the visit, we didn't connected each other smoothly, so the conversation didn't take place yesterday; the sign is I am on the candidate list, and he is conducting a very attentive interviewing for the new GM, although we didn't meet before, but I admire his way of seeking talent to join PTV, courtesy call, follow a visit to your office , the attitude will win him a lot of friendship in his position, and I believe who ever he and the board members pick for running PTV will be devoted to his mission entirely; calling home for this latest development, wife warning me not to get excited too much, I am only in the name list of interviwing and this is not my destiny for good, should not treat it so precious and lost my judgement to the future ahead; this is my wife, always provide her insight at the righ moment, I am happy to have a counter partner as her in my life and career. confidence is what I have and this is the ultimate strength I should alwasy equipped.
Itoh-san sending a mail mentioned his upcoming visit to Taipie, I am so happy, he is one of my best friend in Japan and a great person I knew for a long time, I am scheduling his itinerary with Corbett now and I will be the best host during his stay in Mid Nov. to take this opportunity, I am planning to send a message to L. and chekc his heart again, I really want to see through this person.
Headache hit me in the morning, I modified the new members' presentation file again, as this is the " Impression Managment ", you can only do it right at the first time; headache is not a hang over, but it really hurt.
J. asked me the career opportunity opened for him a few days ago, seeking my opinion to clearfy his disturbing mind, as the company executive and a friend of him, I tried to convey the message in mild and analyical tone:
1. I support young man who tried to venture themsleve in new business, new environment and new challenge; don't feel regret about any decision.
2. Think the requirement of the job scope open for him, and to audit what experience, expertise, knowledge he need to perform properly and contribut to the new company.
3. Think why they want him ? any short term urgency ? if they deliver a long term development idea, don't take their word so simple as you don't have a history with them before.
4. Think what would he be in the near future ? entreprenure or professional manager ? if formal goal fit him, then go and learn , break and grow, if latter, his next ventur shall not join a local firm, but to join another multi-national corporation and to learn the secret of running a big operation.
5. buidling rapport relationship with those who admire him, by knowing each other more, both will understand when and how to work together for a longer future.
6. What to trade : hard-working, energy, physical status, sacrifice ? and trading for what ?
then I draw a map for him in the company and explained to him next 2 years will see the clear fortune of the company, if we successfully transform, then, he and other 2 candidates will success the company and become new executive leading the company to a new height; if we fail to perform the task, we may sale or buy another ISP, because we know our limitation and can only stay safe in where we are; but in both case, I will hand over the company to them. then he asked about my future career and how I am gonna spend my second life ? I don't answer him directly but subtly told him there are many options ahead of me, I can only possively analyze them and seeking a new platfom to enjoy it.
Jerry present to me the new development of the flash animation company he established 4 years ago; 2 long story, one for movie, the other for a new series " 886 ", this is the first time I can feel his strong passion from his heart, we've been knowing each other for 15 years, he is passive, hinding behind, and reluctant to show his confidence to others; this time, I can really feel his trobbing heart; I encourge him to pursue what he believe and fighting for the good fight, Partnership business bringing problems always, when businee is good, partner will challenge who contribut more and get less; business is bad, partner complain each other for not making right decision; business go flat -- why bother to forming partnership ? Jerry facing this delimn too, I recommend him to take strong position and to survive from his dream; if passion with him always, his goal will be achieved. and this is the first time I listen to him carefully, listen to what he demostrate a compelling story, the story about the animation he is planning.
Late night at bed, I burst out saying something semtimental to my wife, she cried, I said " Finally, we will come to a termenal that one will left the other first, if the day come, the surviving one will never got the chance to talk, smile to the one he love, he or she must be very sorrow, the grief and pain will stay until his or her day comes " we loved each other so much, we skip this ture imagination, we ignor the situation which will come for sure, I think unitl falling asleep.
This morning, COO organised an urgent meeting, this is for drafting and sending offical document complaining the unfair situation among ISP's , especially the company who charge other ISP will rereasonable peering fees; the emotion arose by COO make the ambience of the meeting stiff; I am calm and I don't favor the strong action to the government at this timing; to declear the war with your sneaky enemy in public wasn't smart, to fight with the enemy alone wasn't smart either; if the company's business practice is agaisting social justice , media shall be the tool to ampify our collective voice; I stand strong on my position and finally, COO seize his fire and agree on seeking a more strategic approach for reslove this issue; I always support COO's decision and had a great content of the mistake he may made, people grow by learning new thing, try new thing , you hardly avoid all the errow; but this is the end of the 3rd operation year, I have to firmly present my ' right ' and " wrong " to my colleages.
I lost what I just written, the serve of Blog wasn't stable, I can only summerzied waht I write before:
1. I complete the new member introduction flamwork with the help of the article " How to give a self introduction speech "
2. I had a coffee with brand team head and explain to her the critiria for our company to recurit people : good person instead of capable one and the reason why.
3. Tomorrow me and J. will hold the second new members' party at Regent for YPO, then the new members' due will be pass.
4. I will introduce R. as the candidate to YPO, will check the intention next week.
My sister called this morning inform me the prior appointment she made via my secretary, it related to a sales pitch her company wish to conducted with us; the appointment make me feel uncomfortable :
1. my secretary knew that she is my sister, on my absence, how can she response to the appointment ? and how can she filter the subject on behalf of me ?
2. my sisiter is neither the executive of the contacting company, nor working in the sales dept. she is not in the position to initative the appointment, if her company have the intention, they may call us ( not necessay call me ) to pitch the sales. why putting me and my sister in between to create such an unhappy norm ?
3. the company fooled me before, that was initatived by my sister also, one sales person asked my sister to set up appointment with me ( according to her statement ), and change the date twice,, then simply cancel the appointment without a reason, I later find out they are approaching anothe telecom company , maybe , my wild guess, using our name to leverage their position and closing the deal with them, so, we've been used as the back up company, the finding really make me mad. this put out my great concern about this company.
4. If I reject the appointment, what did the company my sister worked think about our family relationship ?
5. why wasting time on the issue that I will never agree upon ?
if someone close to you, they should understand how hard you tried to be fair to everyone on everything, they should think about your situation before throwing ball to you and make you feel uncomfortable; I dislike such a behavior, and I will remind myself never perform such a bad action to those I respect and love.
attending the Taiwan HQ quaterly management meeting for the whole afternoon, this is a waste of time, although some of the information shared and the corporated project announced were important to us, but the way they present the meeting won't make you feel important at all; everyone look at the power point they prepare and read it line by line. with no eye contact with audience and never miss the line on the screen, if this is how a meeting goes, why not distribute hand out and asked everyone to read it at your desk? the chairman is serious about the meeting, but no creativity at all and no energy among attendees, this is a torture for endurance, and a campaign of calling the wake-ups, only a few people appreciate the entire session, I didn't falling asleep as I am sitting in the middle front seat. it seems internal communication between Japanese companies is much harder than us.
sitting at the coach tonight watching Japanese soap drama " The White Tower " with my wife, We didn't follow every episode but take chance for viewing it; Japanese drama generate decent follower in Taiwan, we are pretty fond about this drama.
My second week on the diet medication, I don't feel any lost of weight, the weight measurer didn't reflect it also; do I lost my appitite for food ? a little bit, but not very much. I should continue the diet program for next 2 weeks then see how it go.
Group 2 of the company trip returning Taipei this afternoon, Typhoon didn't impact on their itinerary, they must feel bad, cause the extra / bonus holiday didn't arrived, compare with Group one, when returned from Okinawa, Typhoon provide a free day off for them , the make up day really pay off, one colleage share a picture of me to my email address, she said, the stong wind blow to my hair, make me look like a demon ( the ox horn monster -- from the famous Western Journey ), I return the mail with kindness; at least, my colleage they don't feel distance to me, not in moat, this is an improvement for both of us.
Typhoon Natain came quickly and run fast, the casuality up to now were 4, but what make us regreat is a TV news reporter drawed by the flood on his duty and never return, as cable news rampant in Taiwan, more than 10 news TV station compete each other, to win the hight viewing rate, some reporter risking their life to capture shot as exclusive, even putting themselve in the deep water and measure it by their body height, although this is not encourged by most of the people, but they continue to perform it, today, the tragedy happenend and I hope this is the bell rining and every news anchor / report back to normal.
I turn on the TV for the baseball World Series play off games 2, Red Sox Vs Cardigale, the pitcher with red sox Curt Shichilling show up and throw 5 inns, it seem the blood penestrated again, but he is so brave and it deliver the second win in the 7 -- 4 series. Tom Hanks shown up at the green monster -- a green outfield seating area, from the carema, we can see which team he support, it's Red Sox .
Typhoon make a great excuse to movies, it is a habbit for me and my wife, we went for second run theater this time, I seldom go to horrlo movies, but this time, I had no choice but to enter the theater for " Village ", surprisely , this is not a harrolo movie at all, I like William Hurt, the actor, he lose hair and gain weight but it doesn't hurt his acting at all; this is a bit like " Witness ", talking about a bunch of people escape from civilization and building the Shangerila of their own, the elder all borne with sorrow and past misfits with them, the follow the professor , another elder to build this out of world and live by their own, they raised kid and told them not to cross the wood where the creature of monster live and don't allowed the villager cross, it kept them from touching the civilization, according to the elder, the center of evil, finally, a love move the elder , who let his blind daughter serching for medecine to cure his beloved, before the journey, the kept secret disclosed, there's no monter, it was created by the elder to refrain the young and glow up escape.
a dream to build a land with no evil is what the message the direcoter send, I enjoy the metaphore is pass on to me, I told my wife, this is similar to build a " Foreste University " for adult in the real world. how funny this comparison came to my mind. to dream an impossible dream.
the Desiteney collection book had one article mentiond how a people can alter his fate on his own: 1. first, you have to keep positive thinking all the time, as negative thinks tend to be the human nature, it control how you behave yourself.
2. second, change your routine, breaking the rules you developed normally, this will lead you to change the patter of action, behavior, thus, the personality will change accordingly.
by doing above 2 instruction, you may change you own destiny, it sound every logic and sciencitic to me. I will follow what it metioned.
no business today, checking email for last few days, nothing perticular to be handled. it is a quiet week, but I need to pick up all the pieces and heading for the future , a future controlable.
Typhoon Tanli hit East Taiwan this morning, late last night, city government announced the Typhoon day off today, it extended our company trip for one day, we came back from Okinawa yesterday afternoon, 12 hours ahead of the typhoon, group 2 is now in Okinawa and may extend one night in Okinawa if the airplane terminate flights between Taipei / Okinawa tomorrow.
4 days trip ended yesterday, it gave me a great chance to think hard about the future ahead of me. reading a book about mid-age career shift, a book talking the fatlism and destiny, my mind changed from a passive mood to an agressive mood, the stages of building is like : excape and run away, then develope to 「how to protect myself 」in a personal view, then get to the point of 「Gain back my position」and be positive to the challenge. the last insight came early yesterday morning, when woke up at 6:15 Okinawa local time, I open the glass door and see the doomy sea and sky, then the sky getting clear, wave hit the sand beach with a slightly roar, blue sky and green water force me to think, I heard a bird's sound in my backward, looking at the direction, a flock of eagles flew across the sea and sitting on the tree of a huge reef stone; my strength of fighting burst out and the answer come to me so clear : 「Stay, don't asked, when approaching for answers, simply say stay.」, deliver the echo to my heart to wife at a motton hot pot restaurant last night, I kept this turbulance heart and disturbing mind with me for 4 days, this is rare to see, when sharing the calling from my heart to her, she favor my decision and support me as always. be positive and alternate the routine for past 4 years, I should be brave enought to embrace another challenge.
The querrel between Sound and his sister make him tell the true feeling in Forest School, he is not happy, worst than in normal primary school, the result shocked us, he weeps and cried in low voice in his mothers' breast and say " everyone insult me, I feel so bad ", her mother cried together with him and the young boy took a box of tissue to his mother and asked the mother don't cry, he will tried to correct his behavior if mother stop crying. I join the mother and son session without saying a word, lasting, I told Sound, if he really feel unhappy, We will transfer him back to normal school and stay with us; the primary purpose of putting him to Forest is to provide a happy experience and an environment to learn new things, if this is not what we can exptected, then, we don't need to stay long; my idea is to find out who are the boys performing bad action to Sound, and discuss it with the school administration, I will be very fair to the school and the kids, if the school give me differnt answers, I will then varifiy it with Sound, urge him to change his behavior first, then see how it developed, if the bad experience happend again, I will approch the school againg and present the evidence with me, if school's response remain the same, I will then call up the parent of the worst-behavior, and check if them notice about it and how they think, if the answer I received didn't satistify my expectation, I will then having Sound transfer back, as least, he need a place to talk and share., we can't be too cruel to put him in a lonely place alone, facing the problem without help. this is not what a parent should do, no matter it's a training or not.
4 day's trip is an experience, we two groups met up in one hotel, we had a party to conduct lucky draw, to take that opportunity, I said a few word to my colleage. the point is : no matter how you value the trip and scenice spots it presented, in your life, to join the group with the same people to the same place at the same time will only happen once, so, cherish what you have now, today is so important to everyone. enjoy is; if refected to the book I read during the trip and I cited from book which were quote from a Zen master " People only have 2 or 3 days in live, they are yesterday, today and maybe tomorrow ", " A lot of people live their first life 「Waiting」, second life 「Regret」, the combine life stand for 「Never make it up」, this is my second time to Okinawan and my second time to join the tour; my first experience to this issland trace back 17 years ago, this is my first time going abroad, together with my wife to spend our honney moon, acturally, this is not an idea place for young man to travell unless in summer when you can endougence yourself to all the water activities, next time when the colleage voting for comapny trip location, I shall pass my vote and having them decided what they want, my waight will sometime distouching the trip.
tour guide she is a great sales woman, as this is a life experience for our young colleage, so I didn't stop all the sales activity conducted in the tour bus and shops she brought us to, but I write down my memo and will make an article of 「CEO Chat 」and explained to them what I seen and how I feel during the trip., to have them discover the turth is worth a millions then stopping them to buy . as the trip should be a fair trip to everyone, I am not action as the boss again , I think I did it alright and get some itimacy among colleages, especially those who didn't report to me directly on the operation.
Aquralium and Peace Mometum are two places leave me better impression, the largest is the Aquralium, the sorrowest is the mometurm, whenever you found a memorial place with " Peace " as the theme, there must be battle . blood shed before, Okinawa during the WW2, US raiding make a massive tragedy in the island, for total 480,000 people then, 240,000 died on the battle last for 3 months, the momentum stand near the sourthern sea, with marble stone carve the names of those sacrified their life at the battle, most of them were innocent citizen. the symbol art peice present at the Peace Momeum is call " Broken Jade ", a very Chinese way of expanining the myternism, in Chinese, if someone rather perform the great love then the indivisual love, or die for a idealism, we use the saying of " rather be a broken jade, not to stay in one brick shape ", the horn alike momumen consisted with 2 black marble on each side, in the center, the artist use white marble with black strips on it as the symbol of " broken jade ".
