Diary of a CEO: 10/31/2004

2004/11/05

The bad dream ( it didn't hollow like nightmare ) hit me again last night; my brain didn't stop working late last night, it affect my sleeping quality and may invite all the bad dreams; this time, I saw a surgery procedure , a veteran artist laying on the surgery table all naked, the doctor is performing an orgin remove procedure to cut off the infected cancer cell, it grows on her lower body near the belly, maybe the paralization procedure didn't take place properly, when the doctor slice the belly, I saw the artist hold on her fist and scratch to the white shit covered the operation table, I can't hear any sound from the dream, I guess she must be screaming; the doctor rapiderly remove the organ and took it out of her body, there are audience surround the operation table other than me, everyone watched the performance and saw the removed part of the body, then I woke up........ After offer the incent to the ancenstor table on the top floor, I wall up to the study room and check one English book, I began to read, havn't been practice my speaking for months, tonges is not as flexiable as before, by reading an English book paraphase by paraphase, I gain back the accurate prononcation lillte by little;

The diet program Doctor Si. prescribed works well for me, I lost at least 4 kilogram for less than 3 weeks, 4 of EMBA classmate gathered for dinner last night, Si was one of them, he pull out his PDA and check the BMI index for me, I am reduce to 25.6 now, only 1.6 higher than the normal range, according to him -- the normal range is from 18 to 24, I may need another month to keep me in the health range, I am happy this goal approaching in progress; last night, Ja. picked the restaurant -- the famous old Shanghainese restaurant -- Silver Wings, after he order the food, I added the crispe duck for everyone, a gourment combination, we talk and eat and share, P. didn't talk much last night, Si. prepare gift for everyone, the sourvernier he brough back from Prage , I received 2 CD from him.

My brain can't stop working, the voice interupt me is " where this is a right choice to seat on the second place ? " although nothing confirmed yet, but it bothered me a lot; the cost of trading off with second in charge is too huge, unless there's no other options, otherwise, I really don't want to hide behind, this isn't me.

2004/11/04

J. told me her departure from the kitchen cabinet institutional fundation this afternoon, I feel sad about her and the news she brougt to me; as she honestly told me how the executive treat her like a threat and deliver this unpleasant message to her this Monday, she will offically resigned on the 15th and move herself to a government body which she didn't mention the detail; we will see each other next Tuesday, by then, I will have a clear picture and give her my support and comfort if I may.

The brain drain interviewing session finished 5 minutes to 12:00, it took 20 minutes more than sheduled, this is the most exhausted session I've ever encountered before, 12 directors, the elite of the society, the reputable scholars and the opinion leaders, I prepared the interviewing session from Moday, the Q and A I drafted work, I take it as another thesis oral test; by the time the session completed and by the time the last question / challege raised, I knew I am in the finalist, the is the goal I set for preparing this project, to be identified as a suitable and qualified person to run the PTS and the soon to be legislated Public Media Group in Taiwan, I am not going to recorded the interviewing session in detail, as I told my wife tonight, this is the best ever defensing speech and response I did and I wish it was recorded, thus, the memory will follow me always.

Chairman mentioned the final result will come by either Nov. 11 or 15, sooner then he previous notify; this is even better. it gave me rooms to prepare the upcoming visit from Tokyo - the messanger who will bring the negociation list to my table on the 25th.

Lunch with Ben and disclosed a bit about the session in the morning, he is much more fashion with the second person in charge, he think that will be a perfect position to test the new role and new environment, his encourgement strengthen me tight and put this second-in-charge an option to my career next. I appreciate his viewpoint in different perspective.

2004/11/03

I think the lag of blog today was due to the Presidential Election, anyway, I manger to climb up now; this morning, finally I complete the introduction file, putting all the photos to the power point with the remarks, it looks terrific, next thing to do is to follow a very timly presentation skill , controlling the time and deliver the message in humor approach.

Lunch with 2 excellent person and old friends -- Wind Record and Tress Music bosses, we've known each other for quite a long time, but to have the gathering for non-business conversation were rare, sharing with them is a very inspriing experience, they are knowlegable not only in the field of music, but a much broader of everything; Yang is now very into Suffisism and follow Rumi's way of meditation, Change established herself as the only promoter to introduce world music and minority interested in a global basis; I am lucky to have friend like them who I may contact from time to time to enhance my knowledge of the world -- in a totally different perspective.

in the afternoon, I complete my Q and A session for tomorow morning, as I wrote before, no matter it's good or bad, this is the only window to conduct my " Impression Management " , I shall repsect it with decent manner.

Exercise will lead me to a relaxization mood, I will attend the ping pong session tonight.

2004/11/02

Participating on the " Gong Ho " training seminar whole day, this is an annual training program we provided for our employee; to be honest, I am not so impressed about the message Gong Ho delivered : the spirit of squrrel ; the way of beaver and cheer as wild goose, maybe I am not concentrate enought to this seminar, so I feel tired and sleep, originally, the consulting company scheduled a 2 days training for mangers and one day for the rest of the employee, thanks God we decided to have a condense version and do it all the same for 7 hours; if we extend the training hours or follow the schedule they provided, we will end up with playing more games, writing more group discussion paper and sharing the finding form the video, I don't really think it help to imporve our people or enhance the so called personal accountbility; I favor training and belive training is a very important benefit employer shall prepare for their co-workers.

faciitator play a vital role in conduction training program, if the material itself stand out, then the facilitatior can easily ride on the material with some personal story and communication skill; if the training material wasn't so impressive, then the facilitator must add decent energy to turn the program to a vivid one; I had a gut feeling that this company will like to sell it's consulting package to us by utilized ' Gong Ho ", as the program mentioned, it take time to change the behavior and attitude of the people, so, it pave the road for consalutancy placement at once, and the profit will be much fat than the one day training; as Gong Ho was not well picked by me, their intention of extend the consulting service will not be exercised now.

maybe my brain is full of " to be or not to be " questions , so I didn't focus on the program , so I learn less than others, today, my mental condition wasn't good, J. asked if I stay up last night because I looks so tired physically; I told him a lot of thing is happening and I am spending decent time thinking about them. I didn't share my learning finding with other colleages, as I mentioned earlier, tranining is a frige benefit; I shall no spoil the mood our colleage created.

2004/11/01

A very long day for me; in the moring, the routine managers' meeting take up 3 more hours to complete, as we miss 2 regular meetings in prior weeks due to the company trip and Typhoon, we need to pick up some issues in quick pace and catch those items behind schedule; I leave the conference by 11:50 as I need to depart for the lunch appointmene with R. she is my target of recruiting for YPO, the lunch went very well and she accept the invitation to learn more about the organization in a broader view; I called memberhip officer D. and explained it to her in late evening, he insturcted me to follow with a simple lunch and inviting sponsers jointly show up for the first round of get to know her more. I will have Eugenia coordinate the appointment for coffee, tea or lunch before Nov. 22.

Joint the alliance discussion with M. - our CTO to another ISP, this is for building the consense of private peering policy; we will strongly provoke the public free peer and private free peer with condition propoganda in the public hearing schduled on coming Friday; G. the general manager of the ISP favor our suggestion and belive we should forming such an alliance to protect our interest and fight againt those who using high traffic volume as the token keeper and set a high cost barrier to us. I need to go to another ISP on Thursday morning, if two of them share the same concept with us, then the battle may be win at the first round. the strategy behind is : first, we will stand on the all private peering should be free philosophy, then identified only one tier one player, third to focus on all the second tier shall be free strategy. I know there must be some leak in this stand point, we need to find our what's the defense point for the possible challenges.

L. came 10 minutes late, we had a 40 minutes conversation, 10 minutes more than scheduled time; he is a chemistry belivers and very straight forward; again, I emphsis on the raise the standard of recuriting best candidate to run for PTS and don't mind if I am the finalist out of all candidate; I am telling nothing but the turth; I understand the conversation put me in the final list already and the " chat with directors' " session is another " imprssion management " action to be well taken. A. from Tokyo HQ send an appointment request to my secretary for the Nov. 3 private meeting in the morning, unfortunately ( or lucky ), he can't book the fight, the lastest schedule switch to the 24th; another coincedent; according to L. the final candidate will be decided by the 25th, in the month of Dec. he will well present he or she or them to the law maker and seeking their support, most likely, the new GM shall be offically on board sometimes in Jan. 2005, it gave me good timing to furthure think of my future and the second life I am pursuing.

Dinner with wife at the regular Shabu-shabu restaurant and I told her the encounter with L. this afternoon, I am in the mild mood and told me, I was made use of the 40 minutes to exercise all the impression management, but after the session, I was back to normal again, she don't believe that I can control my emotion such perfect; actually, the mature of a man is know how to control everything in perfect timing; I am back to normal and wait for the Thursday calling. that's a bigger scale of impression management and I can only do it once.

2004/10/31

Today, is a very special day to me, in order to prepare my new members' introduction at YPO, I came up with an idea of present my " First writing in every stage of my life " as the growth path; as I had a routine of writing diary in every stages, so, I walked up to the attic study room serching for decade old paper documents; digging and reading as the same moment, the words I wrote bring me back to the day when I was little and regain the memory I hardly recall; I spend 5 hours in those papers, reading what I wrote in primary school ( how I writing my first adolsent letter to a neighbor kid who pass away at the age of 8 ), my teenage troblem with my love stories, how it begin and how it ended; my colleage days and the communication me and my wife did during my 4 and half years' military life; it gave a a brand new feeling of how I grow up and how I turn to who I am now.

I take a few photos from the diary, those pages present the hard evidence of my turing point mentally and physically; And I finally knows that my writing skills were developped gradually during those diray writing days and the essays I wrote smell the sense of my " Public Interest Concerned " basic humality, if it lead me to the PTV, I think the seed was laid long before I can remember.

I wonder those girls who I falling in love with before, how they are ? I wondered how the classmates who we used to be so itimacy, how they are ? I am climing high enough, if I climb higher and higher, will they see my clear and clear ?

As what Jimmy said over the phone : the bird in the sky always think they are bigger; if landing on ground, they will understand the object form a birdsview is much smaller than it's real shape. sky hight, up up to the sky, this must be the fortune show me to PTV.

Diary of a CEO